what is going to happen?-next crucial year particularly

decline to deny or even to approve of it,me somehow had changed for worse myself.i know myself better than anyone does.this fuckin annoyed particular holiday had become the witness for everything.pathetic.me from the outside seems like to be the best mankind that ever existed in my family.but transparently from the inside of me,i would be the most damn terrible cunt that ever lived in this whole region.in anyway!in knowlegde that i turned into a scum myself,i learned that there is someone who have vowed to live and die for me.how sweet of her.repeatedly said that it's just a waste of being with a duffer like me,she kindly dont even care about it.a load of grateful for it.for her.and for HIM ultimately.