It's hard to find a friend. It's hard to find a friend. -Tom Petty

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Kesedaran yang sudah agak terlewat.


Tiki tok tik tok. Okay itu kononnya bunyi jam. Jam menunujukkan masa. Dan seperti pepatah mengatakan, masa tak pernah menunggu manusia. Dan rugilah manusia yang tak menghargai masa. Sekarang aku rasa aku adalah antara mereka yang rugi itu. Sedar tak sedar, peperiksaan final semakin menghampiriku. Dan apa yang aku lakukan? Leka dan alpa. Menelaah pelajaran jauh sekali. Sang pencipta seolah olah semakin aku pinggirkan. Bukan aku tak sedar, aku sedar. Tapi entah apa yang menahan diri aku dari buat semua tu. Rasa berat je kaki tangan ni nak menelaah pejaran dan mendekatkan diri kepada-Nya. Aku tanya kenapa. Tapi aku tak dapat jawapan. Jadi aku rasa tak guna terus mempersoalkan tapi sebaliknya harus diikhtiarkan. Ya, aku sedang mengumpul kekuatan itu. Merujuk tajuk post kali ini, kesedaran yang sudah agak terlewat adalah berkenaan peperiksaan yang semakin menghampiri. Iaitu minggu hadapan. Satu apa pun tak terlekat dalam otak pemikiran aku berkaitan pelajaran. Sedangkan ini adalah satu satunya exam final untuk keseluruhan program asasi aku dekat sini. Apalah nak jadi? Tapi menyesal pun dah tak berguna. Apa yang mampu aku lakukan sekarang adalah gunakan saki baki masa yang seolah tak cukup ni untuk masukkan seberapa banyak input yang aku mampu dalam otak aku ni. Entah apalah result aku nanti. Banyak kegusaran dan kebimbangan. Tapi kurang tindakan. Ya, itulah aku.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Maaf, aku masih mencari diri.


Salam wbt. Kebelakangan ni aku rasa nak buat post dalam bahasa melayu. Tak tahu kenapa. Mungkin aku rasa lebih telus bila aku guna bahsa melayu. Aku rasa post yang aku buat akan jadi lebih jujur dan mudah difahami. Ya, sesungguhnya aku masih mencari diri. Ramai kawan2 aku tanya, kenapa putra sekarang dah jarang nampak dekat surau? Kenapa putra sekarang macam nak kembali ke perangainya yang dahulu. Sesungguhnya aku tak punya daya untuk melarang orang dari berkata-kata. Dan aku juga tak pernah menyalahkan mereka. Mungkin itu cara Allah untuk mengingatkan aku. Tapi aku tahu apa yang aku buat. Aku tahu apa yang aku perlu jaga. Tak dinafikan, kemanisan yang diperolehi ketika bulan Ramadhan dulu kini susah untuk aku rasai. Tapi aku, ianya tidak mustahil untuk berlaku semua. Cuma perlu berdoa selalu. Aku yakin itu. Aku juga tak menyangkal kata-kata rakan2 ku. Mmg benar semua cakap2 mereka. Aku sekarang kurang ke surau. Entah apa yang aku fikirkan. Entah apa yang ada dalam benak fikran aku ni. Kaki seolah2 rasa berat nak melangkah ke tempat suci itu. aku tidak lagi menjadi tetamu-Nya. Astagfirullahalazim. Ampunkan hamba-Mu yang hina ini ya Allah. Hindari aku daripada berkelakuan munafik. Ya Allah. Cuma kini, aku dalam proses untuk mendekatkan diri semula dengan dia. Harap aku diberi ruang dan waktu untuk muhasabah diri. Terima kasih atas peringatan rakan-rakan yang setia. Sampai sini sahaja. Salam wbt. *Peace y'all :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Am I going astray?Oh God, guide me. :(


Salam wbt. Aku tak tahu tapi aku rasa macam aku nak menyimpang dah ni, tak dapat nak rasa kemanisan macam dulu yang pernah aku rasa dahulu, yang pernah dia pinjamkan seketika dahulu, benarlah tu, iman manusia naik turun, hmm, risau2, harap2, aku tak lepaskan apa yang aku pernah dapat dulu, moga solatku masih kekal terjaga, sesungguhnya aku manusia kerdil yang terlalu banyak melakukan kesilapan, Ampunkan aku Ya Allah.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fever, please go away. :O


Hello world, okay I won't make this long and agonizing. Just a short and sweet one. PROMISE :)
Aku dah demam like for more than a week, dan aku rasa macam nak mati menaggung demam ni. Ya Allah, bukan tak pernah demam sebelum ni, but this time is like it's killing me slowly. I've been coughing for more than a week also. Oh yeah, I have a hilarious story behind this. I'll make it brief. My dad called me. He insisted on me going to see the doctor which he knows that is the last thing that I would do in my life. Yet, he forced me. This was what he said.

Dad : Putra, I want you to go to the clinic and show me the receipts.
Me : Sure dad.
Dad : And yeah, I want to talk to the doctor too.
Me : -__-

So what I did was, I had my friend to disguise as the doctor. Sorry papa, I had to do so. You know how much I loathe doctors.

Okay till later ppl bye!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Going Back :)


Assalamualaikum.
Okay, so this is the day that many of us are waiting for. But seriously I think, excluding me. -.-
I don't know why. It's not that I don't wanna go back home and see my parents, my family but I just could sense something wrong. Or perhaps it's because Ramadhan is about to leave us? I don't know. I don't have this 'Raya mood' either. Again, I don't why. It's okay. Whatever it is, I will still go back to Malacca and maintain whatever good things that I've been doing here. Hope, this homecoming would not change anything. Gotta go to class now. Salam people :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

How do I hope my future's gonna be? ;)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t to all.
My ardent readers, this post speaks about how I hope my future is going to be. Okay before that, let's be realistic. I'd love to commence by stating the current things happening in my life at the moment. One of the obvious things is I am now trying my level best to fit myself in this not-so-new atmosphere. Teaching atmosphere. Honestly, I had never imagined myself before standing in front of a class occupied with those who we called students and TEACH! :0 What? Come again? Did I say teach? LOL.

But as much as I'm reluctant to say this, I have actually instilled an interest in this line. Obviously I have not gone for a real teaching yet but to the very least, I am not as reluctant as I was before. So, come what may in the future, I'll definitely spill out my best. InsyaAllah. So basically you guys should know that I am going to be a teacher, an educator and a care-giver for our future generation. Being in this line, I would not say that I am going to earn a BIG income. Wouldn't be that well-off compared to engineers, doctors, and lawyers who earn like thousands a month. But, I would definitely lead a stable, moderate and happy life. HAPPY? Okay, I'm not certain about that. But as how I view things now, a happy life is imminent for me. That's my greatest desire in the future. InsyaAllah.

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( Aku bukan nak kutuk kau, tapi kau belum ada rupa nak jadi cikgu lagi lah putra ;0 )
( Gambar Sem 1, I was FAT. So silakan kutuk. Terima kasih :) )

*Aku nak sambung lagi. Tapi kena gerak pergi surau nak tolong masak*
(Eh, aku cakap melayu eh tadi?) Haa, okay BYE!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It gives DIFFERENCE in my life. A HUGE difference.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Peace be upon you my friends, pals, mates, cliques, people and whoever you are to me in my life. :)
Readers, this post means something HUGE to me. It's about my very own self. About how I've traveled, explored and found myself. And how I have changed throughout the days. And most importantly, it's about how I have treasured the real definition and purpose of this momentary LIFE.

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*This was my life before. These pictures are not up for any ill intentions.*

Guys,
Days went by like paper in the wind. I was ignorant. Ultimately ignorant. Towards people, towards myself and most disgracefully towards my Creator, Allah s.w.t. I didn't know what my purpose was to live on this earth. Everything was vague. Too vague until I felt like I was blind. Blinded by the excessive entertainment and enjoyment that the world got to offer me. I was too fragile, so much vulnerable to restraint myself and resist all the temptations. I wasn't strong enough. Not enough to save myself from being thrown in such a life. What a disgrace.
But, now I have the guts to say that all that was way back then. Way back in the past which I could reminisce but not to regret. Regretting is undoubtedly good but life has to move on, I suppose.
As my journey continues, I get to find inspirations around me. They make me ponder about life. I start to give thoughts like when I am going to stop living such a life. Up to some extents, I know life isn't about having fun all the way through but we gotta live for a purpose. And I hope, I have discovered my purpose by now. Hoping that you have found yours too. My greatest gratitude would go to Allah s.w.t for giving me the second chance to live 'again'. My parents who have been my strength for all this while. And also to my friends who have got my back throughout this phase of my life. I know it's not an easy task, pals. Thank you again. And to someone that I have found very special in my life, who has been there with me along the way. Countless time of 'thank you' I would want to say to you, dear. :)


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I get closer to Allah by time. And how shall I say this? It bestows me with tranquility. One thing that I have never felt before. Alhamdulillah. I feel much calmer now. And yes, He is my purpose. May this good thing stay. InsyaAllah.

*Pictures are not provided to prove my changes nor for you guys to make comparison. Merely putting. Thank you.

Assalamulaikum w.b.t. Happy fasting.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

FASA MAGHFIRAH. Ya Allah, Ampunkanlah dosa hamba-Mu ini.


“Ya Tuhan kami, sesungguhnya kami telah beriman. Maka ampunilah segala dosa kami dan peliharalah kami dari seksa neraka.”
( Surah Ali Imran [3]: 16)

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Alhamdulillah. Jangan lupa utk sentiasa mengucapkannya. Terbit fajar celik sahaja mata kurniaan Allah ini pun kita harus mengucapkan Alhamdulillah. Sesungguh-Nya atas nikmat yang dilimpahkan oleh-Nya ke atas kita lah kita masih mampu utk bernafas dan terus berusaha utk mengumpul saham akhirat kita. InsyaAllah. Syukur. Kini telah masuk hari ke-17 kita berpuasa. Dan sesungguhnya kita kini sedang berada di fasa KEAMPUNAN Allah. FASA MAGHFIRAH. Jadi jangan sesekali kita melepaskan sebaik baik peluang ini kerana sesungguhnya kita tidak pernah tak pernah tahu bila AJAL bakal menjemput kita. Maka haruslah kita sentiasa bersedia. Insya Allah Ta'ala.

*masa untuk ke kelas English Studies. ADEIII**** Pening boleh? -____-

Sunday, August 14, 2011

It has been a while. A LONG while. :)

Alhamdulillah. It has been a while since I posted a 'post' here. In my very own blog. Okay, seriously I didn't miss blogging until I came across this one unique blog of my pal, a very close one. Then I decided to start blogging again. Like all over again. From the scratch. Though it is not really from the scratch. But still, I know I should start fresh after I deleted a few of my earlier posts. The posts which have jeopardized myself and my future career. But that was back then. I believe and I AM now the new me. No more hanky panky ! Alhamdulillah sekali lagi. Aku percaya aku dah banyak berubah sekarang. If you guys still remember some of my deleted posts previously, it was all about my wild, dark life. Astaghfirullahalzim. How could I've been dumped in such a disgusting life? But again, I fervently believe that for everything that happened, there is a silver lining behind it. Just need to have faith. Peep , it's already late. I'd love to write more, but you know time constraint has always been my ultimate rival. I'll definitely write more tomorrow. My passion for blogging has not faded. YET. So, do expect more from me. Later guys. Bye.